Boring=Torture

God damn it.... It's such a boring weekend for me for these 2 days....
I spend all of my times in front of my desktop and doing nothing....
Haizz..... Everytime I thought I can go out for entertainment....
Then its been cancel or even been abandon....
Super boring days...
I sibeh hate this kind of feelings....
I been through the days meaninglessly coz i got nothing to do at all....
Sienz ah.... Most of the time I tried to find stupid stuff to do....
But the best is.... I a kind of save up some money for myself though...~~
Oh ya.... Finally... I touch my guitar after such a long time....
Damn.... It's been a long time since I had played it....
Now I hv trouble with my fingers to play even single song....
Swt.....

Keep Going OR End It???

Finally.... me and she are contacting each other again....
After what had happened.... Doesnt matter that is a misunderstanding or a truth....
it directly affected my feeling towards her already.....
Since the day she didn't pick up my phone or reply my sms.... I had a bad feeling about this relationship....
From that moment.... I had very terrible feelings that I will lose her from my arm....
I had many different thoughts about what happen to her phone LIKE "she lose her phone""her phone kena stole"
However.... I just can't force myself to believe that AND
After a few days.... She started to find me again ( thx to one of my friend )
But then... I don't feel like want to pick up her phone... I don't want hear her explanation.... Reply her or even THINK bout her...
COZ I HAD BEEN FUCKING ANGRY!!!
She gimme a feeling like she had lie to me.... and even worse.... betray me!!!
But today.... when things about to get better... there she is again.... saying me this bad that bad while I didn't even did stuff like that.... I HATE IT WHEN SHE ALWAYS LIKE THAT!!!
Then we had a small fight and she say we separate for a month bah....
For some reason.... I just can't accept that... Why? Why are we separate for?
I don't like that feeling anymore.... I scare everything she will do behind my back....
Then... I just her to change a bit of her attitude when she always speak to me sometimes....

But then.... she still think shes right?? why?? why cant u just be more reasonable???
Everytime u say something that will make me angry.... U say im "small gas"??
Cant even tell why I will always get angry??
Then... I feel this relationship is just getting worse time to time since the day u lost ur feeling towards me.....
I just hope you realise what is the problem now before its all too late....

Loniliness~~

And again... today... i call my friends and didn't answer my call.... TMD.... say liao tonight go cyber together and i got left abandon by them again.... I really fucking hate this feeling.... I tried to not think about anything stupids about my friend.... but... it just happen again, and again, and again.... I don't understand why they keep doing this to me.... Am I really tat TAO REN YEN.... Or some other reason.... I really hope they can tell me and I really wish I be as friend as before with them again.... I just hope this kind of things wont happen again.... Coz I had been an EMO state for a few days =(

Failure

Finally... after a long time... i create my own blog.... Haha... sounds stupid though... coz i never thought tat i would create a blog for myself to write all my daily activities.... but today... is one of my bad day:

I feel like i had been abandon by all the people around me.... since i wake up... from a hangover( coz of last night ).... i call some of my frends and they didn't pick up my phone.... then.... i'll start to think stupid stuffs like.... "Are they don't like to hang out wif me anymore".... "Am i really that TAO REN YEN".... but... i won't know the real answer coz i know sometimes i'm a little bit annoying T.T

Plus, after a few days of cold between me and my gf... Finally i say i'm sorry... I know should pick her phone days ago.... But i just can't... coz she gimme a feeling that she betray me, she betray my trust.... Then... she told me that she know what i did at Firefly last night... I don't know how she know it but it doesnt matter now.... coz i don't even know how to maintain a relation or even a friendship.... But... i just hope all of this are onli my imagination and I hope all of this is over as soon as possible.....